Day Nine Hundred and Seventy Three

a glimpse into my life as a student & a photographer
i began as a junior high leader at hope chapel in september of 2006 and cassidy was in my group. eight years later, from 5th grade to high school graduation, i’ve been blessed to be a part of her life. i’ve watched her grow and mature, discover life, make decisions (good and bad), but mostly i’ve seen our relationship develop. today i watched her leave her adolescence, cross over into a new stage of life and begin her adult life. in three short months she will be sacrificially serving in the US Navy and will go on to continue her formal education as well as her military education. i couldn’t be more proud of my little sailor girl! xo 

i began as a junior high leader at hope chapel in september of 2006 and cassidy was in my group. eight years later, from 5th grade to high school graduation, i’ve been blessed to be a part of her life. i’ve watched her grow and mature, discover life, make decisions (good and bad), but mostly i’ve seen our relationship develop. today i watched her leave her adolescence, cross over into a new stage of life and begin her adult life. in three short months she will be sacrificially serving in the US Navy and will go on to continue her formal education as well as her military education. i couldn’t be more proud of my little sailor girl! xo 

five years ago i became a tia for the second time. 
k is my girly girl. she loves everything glitter, lipstick, makeup, shoes, nail polish, tutus, and pink. she’s a little foofoo princess and slightly over dramatic. she loves being in front of the camera and definitely needs her own youtube channel. 
this little girl is priceless. so is being her tia toria. 

five years ago i became a tia for the second time. 

k is my girly girl. she loves everything glitter, lipstick, makeup, shoes, nail polish, tutus, and pink. she’s a little foofoo princess and slightly over dramatic. she loves being in front of the camera and definitely needs her own youtube channel. 

this little girl is priceless. so is being her tia toria. 

a lot less food

for the past four years i haven’t consumed any nuts or nut products. during that time i slowly cut out all dairy products (minus eggs) starting with ice cream and yogurt. early this year i finally cut the final two obvious products, cheese and butter and really checked labels for milk, whey, and anything else dairy in the foods i was eating. this meant that i had to find other ways to brighten up my toast, eat cheese-less pizza only as long as the dough didn’t have dairy (thank you CPK!), and give up my daily protein breakfast shakes. while this was a challenge, it wasn’t too bad to adapt my eating habits; there were still a lot of foods that i could eat, i just had to learn to be smart about what i ate. 

thirty-six days after graduating from ucsd i went to my allergist for a skin test. that’s the test where they make small scratches on your back exposing you to various foods or environmental things and make you wait for 15 minutes to see what starts to blister. this is what came back positive:

*jalapeno pepper
*cayenne pepper
*cantaloupe
*cucumber
*milk
*corn
*peanut
*hazelnut
*papaya
*pork
*onion
*bell pepper
*carrots
*green olive 

while i wasn’t excited to get these results, it wasn’t too bad because i didn’t eat much of these anyway - except for the last four items. eight days later i went back for a patch test. i had created fifteen different sample size bags of products that i use on a daily basis or have used to see if my skin reacted positively or negatively. this test was a little more difficult because i had to go in to have five panels full of small patches applied to my back and taped down. i could barely move and was uncomfortable, but the worst was knowing that i couldn’t shower until it was removed… three days later. two days later i went in for the first reading and day three i went in for the final reading… and permission to shower! this is what came back positive:

*nickel sulfate
   -legumes
   -whole grain flour
   -oats
   -soybeans
   -shellfish
   -asparagus
   -beans
   -mushrooms
   -onions
   -corn
   -spinach
   -tomatoes
   -peas
   -pears
   -all nuts
   -raisins
   -rhubarb
   -tea
   -cocoa
   -baking powder
   -cabbage
   -sprouts
   -all canned food
   -foods cooked in nickel utensils
   -licorice
   -chocolate
   -potatoes 

*wool alcohols
*potassium dichromate
*fragrance
*cobalt
*gold
*blue 106
*various shampoos/conditioners
*some clinique products  

let’s be honest, this is a ridiculous list! and i saved you from having to read the break down of the last few allergies listed right above. basically i should live in a bubble because i’m supposedly allergic to everything. so what does this mean? it means that i don’t eat out, read the labels for everything, and trust that God won’t give me more than i can handle. i know this will be very frustrating and trying, but i also know that this will be another opportunity for me to rely on God and what he has planned for this experience. 

four months and counting… when you’re used to having someone around its easy to think that they’ll always be around. 
when i left for college i went two hours south. when my brother leaves for college he’ll be forty hours east. it was easier for me to come home when i needed a home cooked meal or to sleep in my own bed because i didn’t want to be around my crazy roommates. i came home and hung out with my friends and my brother and his friends. unfortunately for all of us, he can’t just come home when he wants to. 
hopefully time will pass quickly

four months and counting… when you’re used to having someone around its easy to think that they’ll always be around. 

when i left for college i went two hours south. when my brother leaves for college he’ll be forty hours east. it was easier for me to come home when i needed a home cooked meal or to sleep in my own bed because i didn’t want to be around my crazy roommates. i came home and hung out with my friends and my brother and his friends. unfortunately for all of us, he can’t just come home when he wants to. 

hopefully time will pass quickly

i’ve always had a slightly impulsive personalilty. today i came home from college to visit my family and get a simple hair trim - instead i walked out with a completely new look. i don’t know how i’ll like it, but for now i’m enjoying it. it was time for a change.

i’ve always had a slightly impulsive personalilty. today i came home from college to visit my family and get a simple hair trim - instead i walked out with a completely new look. i don’t know how i’ll like it, but for now i’m enjoying it. it was time for a change.

from diapers to dresses
this girl has been my blondie bestie through thick and thin. i have some of the greatest memories growing up with her and i’m thankful for the woman that she has become.
today is a special day for her. she’s one day closer to be a “mrs.” it’s a little surreal for me, but i couldn’t be happier for her. plus, i really like her mr.
congratulations amy on your bridal shower, your wedding, and your wonderful future to come!

from diapers to dresses

this girl has been my blondie bestie through thick and thin. i have some of the greatest memories growing up with her and i’m thankful for the woman that she has become.

today is a special day for her. she’s one day closer to be a “mrs.” it’s a little surreal for me, but i couldn’t be happier for her. plus, i really like her mr.

congratulations amy on your bridal shower, your wedding, and your wonderful future to come!

running into the wall called “reality”

i didn’t leave my apartment today. i slept in. i lounged. i caught up on my reality shows. i decided to look at my bank account and pay some bills. that’s when it happened… 

since i was a little girl, i have always known what i wanted and would do what it took to get it. i wanted an american girl doll which my parents said was really expensive and that i would have to purchase if i wanted. so i got a job. i think i was around 8 or 9 years old and i started doing extra chores around my house, going to my neighbors house and doing whatever i could do earn a dollar. eventually i had $100 and bought my doll. a few years later i wanted a specific pair of shoes and wouldn’t settle until i had found the perfect ones. i can’t even remember how many times my mom suggested pairs that, from what she could tell, were what i was looking for, but i knew just weren’t the right ones. six months passed and then i walk by them. it was an indescribable moment for me. i just knew that this was it. no questions. no concerns. no doubts. those were the ones.

as i got older i kept both qualities. knowing exactly what i wanted and working hard to get it. in high school i was a full time [A] student, went to the junior college for dual credits, worked four part time jobs and volunteered in several ministries at my church. i bought all my own clothes, shoes, personal items, paid for (a majority of the time) my own cell phone, gas for my car, oil change, minor maintenance and any activity that i wanted to participate in. not saying that i was even close to being independent financially, not at all, but i never waited around for someone to hand things to me - in that sense, i am very independent. 

today was the first time that i had a very odd feeling. one that i can’t really describe, but one i never want to feel again. maybe a little desperation, helplessness, dependent. since spring of 2011 i haven’t had a consistent job. i’ve been able to get a few paychecks here and there to make ends meet, but nothing like what i’ve been used to in the past. it may sound stupid to some people, but i can’t afford a “back to school” pair shoes, or the new pair of boots i want for this fall season, i can’t afford a new lip stick if i’m having a bad day (and that my friends, is NOT good), to be honest… i can’t even afford to go to the grocery store or put gas in my car to get to church. it was completely overwhelming for this reality-lightbulb to go off. 

i spent the rest of the day scouring the internet for jobs or ideas for potential jobs, working on my resume, applying for jobs and checking my email more than one person should in one hour (really? who’s going to respond on a saturday?). i’m even applying to watch peoples children (D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-I-O-N)! 

the moral of all this: i’m very quickly going to be a thin, humble woman who can’t just say that i trust God, but 100% rely on him. 

i signed up to volunteer at the san diego film festival in la jolla tonight. when i got there they changed my job from production to “undercover volunteer”… basically i got to watch the movie and enjoy the night. since it was opening night, they were doing a tribute to gus van sant. don’t know who he is? look it up. i had to. i’ll admit it, i had no idea who he was but i’m not good with names anyway… he is the director of good will hunting which is the movie that was played in his honor. 
you’d think that meeting and talking with him and asking him for advice and a job would’ve (should’ve) been the highlight of my evening, but it didn’t trump who i saw pull up to the red carpet earlier. i was on my phone standing near the red carpet when someone around me asked who was pulling up that people were getting excited about. as i looked up i see jef holm’s face! now if you don’t know me, you wouldn’t understand that i am not really impressed by celebrities or famous people. there are very few people who could make me starstruck. but when i saw jef i scared myself with how giddy i was that he was right in front of me! and of course, when he walks by the only picture i can get comes out blurred. 
what surprised me was how quickly i started getting tweets from people who i didn’t know asking me where jef was. was emily with him? what was he wearing? where was he going next? was i looking at him at the moment? OH_MY_GOSH! how’d these people find me?! i didn’t even ### anything! to be honest, i didn’t see fans asking questions, just stalkers. let the man go out, walk the red carpet and promote his business! i was interviewed because of this tweet and asked questions about him. its one thing for a journalist/reporter to follow trending people, it’s their job, but random people… weird.
and maybe you couldn’t tell, but ABCs bachelor and bachelorette are my favorite reality shows. one day, i’ll work on one of them.
jef’s twitter, follow him so you can know his every move…

i signed up to volunteer at the san diego film festival in la jolla tonight. when i got there they changed my job from production to “undercover volunteer”… basically i got to watch the movie and enjoy the night. since it was opening night, they were doing a tribute to gus van sant. don’t know who he is? look it up. i had to. i’ll admit it, i had no idea who he was but i’m not good with names anyway… he is the director of good will hunting which is the movie that was played in his honor. 

you’d think that meeting and talking with him and asking him for advice and a job would’ve (should’ve) been the highlight of my evening, but it didn’t trump who i saw pull up to the red carpet earlier. i was on my phone standing near the red carpet when someone around me asked who was pulling up that people were getting excited about. as i looked up i see jef holm’s face! now if you don’t know me, you wouldn’t understand that i am not really impressed by celebrities or famous people. there are very few people who could make me starstruck. but when i saw jef i scared myself with how giddy i was that he was right in front of me! and of course, when he walks by the only picture i can get comes out blurred. 

what surprised me was how quickly i started getting tweets from people who i didn’t know asking me where jef was. was emily with him? what was he wearing? where was he going next? was i looking at him at the moment? OH_MY_GOSH! how’d these people find me?! i didn’t even ### anything! to be honest, i didn’t see fans asking questions, just stalkers. let the man go out, walk the red carpet and promote his business! i was interviewed because of this tweet and asked questions about him. its one thing for a journalist/reporter to follow trending people, it’s their job, but random people… weird.

and maybe you couldn’t tell, but ABCs bachelor and bachelorette are my favorite reality shows. one day, i’ll work on one of them.

jef’s twitter, follow him so you can know his every move…

a whole new year

well… i haven’t done such a great job at keeping this blog up to date with my life. i originally started this so that my family and friends could have some insight into my new life in san diego and that is still my goal - hopefully this time i’ll be a little more consistent. 

i’m starting my senior year at UCSD as a sociology - culture and communications major. in the middle of my first quarter last year i decided that visual arts media just wasn’t for me. i really do love learning about people and their groups and being a soc major is more of a hobby for me. i realized that once i became a nerd about my major, i had found the right one. 

i also decided that i will be a producer. i worked on a brand new reality show this summer for NBC called ready for love (which will air this winter) and i loved it! i really do like reality television. 

this year i’m becoming more proactive. i’ve found a church that i really like, C3 San Diego, and have been involving myself with the people and activities there. i signed up to play women’s ultimate frisbee, something i haven’t done in a while but am looking forward to getting back into the game. i’m joining the student foundation who’s mission is to promote, facilitate, and perpetuate the philanthropic spirit amongst the ucsd student community. and this weekend i’m volunteering at the san diego film festival in la jolla. 

there’s a lot going on but i’m looking forward to a more exciting school year in beautiful la jolla, ca 

My drive home from work tonight (Taken with Instagram at Santa Monica Bluffs)

My drive home from work tonight (Taken with Instagram at Santa Monica Bluffs)

My roommate is leaving me
(at The Village East Tower, 302)

My roommate is leaving me

(at The Village East Tower, 302)

Last lunch date with the roomie, @justjannike
i forget where we ordered from, but it was pretty good! i probably would’ve enjoyed it so much more if i were already finished with finals…
(at The Village East Tower, 302)

Last lunch date with the roomie, @justjannike

i forget where we ordered from, but it was pretty good! i probably would’ve enjoyed it so much more if i were already finished with finals…

(at The Village East Tower, 302)

@justjannike Roomies - first sun god together
(at The Village at Torrey Pines)

@justjannike Roomies - first sun god together

(at The Village at Torrey Pines)

Midterms on the road (Taken with Instagram at Holbrook, AZ)

Midterms on the road (Taken with Instagram at Holbrook, AZ)

I want to be just like them when I’m older (Taken with instagram)

I want to be just like them when I’m older (Taken with instagram)